You cheated, you lied.
But that's okay, because so do I.
Monday, February 20, 2017
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Some people peak early and then lost all drives.
They get to where they want to be, excelling all the way to their destination, and be successful from the viewpoint of others.
Then something get to them.
Maybe it's tiredness.
Maybe it's boredom.
Maybe they just got too comfortable and stop striving.
Whatever the reason is, they stop being where they were.
They soared, up and above everyone else and they tumble down just as magnificently.
Or maybe not, maybe their fall from grace is as slowly as their rise were.
But they fell.
Perhaps you'd think that all of them would be saddened by this.
Perhaps you'd think they'd be miserable.
But you might not know that that isn't the case for all of them.
Because for some the top was too tiring.
And some, some are happily dancing their days away in the less brightened area.
It's okay. Some fallen angels are happy living with us mortals.
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
I believe that dreams are there to distort known reality towards that which are more favorable to you, a goal of sort to achieve on your way to your destination.
But I dream of a god, an omniscience omnipotent all powerful being, constricted not by the limitations of men, free of worldly chains except for his own desires. My dreams are too big too unbelievable even for me, I dream of becoming a living God, master of my own destiny, master of that of others.
My dream, my only real dream, is my un-arrivable destination.
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Sunday, November 20, 2016
What a wishy washy sentence, I know. Ignore that please.
Anyway yes, addicted because I know that this is stupid, I know that this is not real, but the complacency and false contentedness is just too hard to let go of.
Why run into harsh reality when I can still enjoy this feeling of uncaring, the jadedness towards a future that's bleak.
It really is easier to fall into imaginationland and really just think of all the good thing that could happen.
This bubble might pop soon, but for now, let me be.
Friday, November 11, 2016
Terlalu cepat marahnya datang, terlalu cepat sabarnya hilang.
Atau mungkin ini hanya baran.
Atau mungkin ini bukan semua di atas, hanya aku yang cuba hilang dari rimas dan lemas.
Ini bukan isu lari dari tanggungjawab.
Ini cuma rimas, bila dipaut dan di tarik makin dalam, aku lemas.
Tenggelam, itu yang aku rasa, sesak nafas, itu sebabnya aku mahu hilang.
Bagi aku masa, bagi aku ruang.
Bagi aku peluang untuk bernafas bebas, untuk hilang serabut di kepala.
Tempatmu di samping aku, bukan di belakang.
Wajarnya kau bersama di tepi, sama mengharung, bukan menarik aku kembali ke belakang.
Ini amarah, ini geram, ini aku memandang rendah.
Maki hamunku kasar, nadaku lantang, bahasaku jauh dari indah.
Tapi cuba kau diam, cuba kau dengar, cuba kau sabar bila aku juga cuba bicara dengan lembut,
Fikir, biar otak cerna apa lidah aku bicara,
Buang ego, biar kita dua bebas dari belenggu lenggok lama.
Biar kita dua matang, mungkin nanti baru kita ada peluang.
Wednesday, October 5, 2016
Be it the careful wording, the structure of the sentences, or the feelings they provoke, beautiful is the only adjective (that and its many synonyms) that I can think of that would befit them.
Alone on its own, or accompanied by random music, even the most grating, the beauty lie undiminished. This I can attest to, my playlist suddenly jumped to Nate Ruess' Nothing Without Love when I was on the eighth page of the story. Not to say that the song is on its own something I find disagreeable to, if it did it would not have found its way into my playlist, it's just that coupled with mood that the story was making me feel, it is somewhat vile to the ear and rotten to the soul.
Maybe it's the novelty in having read a different sort of writing, as compared to the rather straightforward way the translation of the chinese light novels I have found to grow fond of these past few months are written. Maybe, this I could not deny now, perhaps a further, or finished, reading would prove this to be so, but at the moment this feeling of contentedness is more than enough to sate whatever need for beauty that I have,
Thursday, September 29, 2016
That's what I feel right now.
Been awhile since I've last written anything here.
Life's okay, just okay tho.
Pretty busy right now, supposedly lah,
But here I am on my back staring at my computer screen with my research on hold.
Lover's lane ain't what it used to be.
That's more than enough to explain everything, that and this post, or rather the boredom that led me to writing this, not the content.
So many roads to choose from, the future's not bleak but it's still shrouded in fog.